I’m Fucking TERRIFIED
It hurts so damn much knowing that he can’t find it in himself to say the words “I love you.”
Chances are, he’s going to be the one to walk away.
I’ve forgotten how to talk to God, but I’ve been begging and asking to give the person I love strength! To give him the strength to stop feeling hurt from the past and think about the future. To help him see that I’m not going to hurt him and It’s almost a guarantee that I won’t walk away unless things get really bad.
He KNOWS how much this is hurting me—I told him I can’t even look at pictures of the last person he said it to. It’s a little scary loving someone and not having a clue as to whether or not they love you back, it’s the scariest fucking thing in the world! There you are, giving all of who you are to them, and you don’t know if they’ll EVER be able to open up like that for you.
All I ever do is give of myself… I wish he could give me the gift of knowing whether or not he’ll ever see me the same way I see him.
Best of Autocorrect
Sadness just overwhelms me
I feel like I’m doing something wrong
Or there’s something wrong with me
I still feel lonely
Even when I’m surrounded by people I love
Even with those I love….
I wish I could curl up
And be left alone
To sleep and not wake up